• Angela Krueger

Daggers


I woke up one morning after my divorce with lyrics to a Kim Walker-Smith song replaying in my mind. Unstoppable love.

"Try to stop your love and you would rage a war.

Try to stop the very thing you gave your life for.

You would come running tear down every wall

All the while shouting my love your worth it all.

God you pursue me with power and glory.

Unstoppable love that never ends.

Your unrelenting with passion and mercy.

Unstoppable love that never ends.

No sin. No shame. No past. no pain.

Could separate me from your love.

No height no depth no fear no death

Could separate me from your love.

I was in that half asleep and half awake place. Completely yielded to the Lord for the first time in a long while. I don't know why I waited, but oh, how I had needed to be in that place.

I fully surrendered to the Lord and allowed him to minister to me. I brought before Him an image that I had of a previous encounter with my ex. It was a painful one. In it I felt as though daggers were being thrown at me. Careless words, hurt, manipulation. Then I asked the Lord where He was in this scene that was replaying in my mind because He promised to never leave me or forsake me. (Deuteronomy 31:6) Even while this particular incident was going on I knew God was in the room with us. I asked Him where he was, what was going on, and how he saw the situation. The following vision and revelation was revealed...

He reminded of me of how I feel when my ex “throws daggers” at me. When I feel like he is intentionally trying to hurt, manipulate, put me down, and make me feel like a bad person. How I take it very personally as if what my ex speaks over me is truth. What the Lord revealed was that when the daggers were flying through the air from my ex to me, Jesus stepped in between us with His arms stretched wide and caught the daggers. Tears.....

However, he then showed me what I was doing...I took the dagger from his hands and stabbed myself. I was making a choice to let my ex's words affect me. To define the truth about myself instead of what God says about me. I realized he was trying to show me that He was standing in front of me catching all the daggers into his own body. And if I could keep that image in my mind when the chaos inevitably comes again, then it won’t hurt so bad. To this day I still remind myself of this revelation. Of course the deeper realization sunk down into my soul that God died for the daggers my ex has thrown (his sins) and mine too (my sins). I have a choice whether or not to take the daggers and stab myself or let them be caught by my Jesus. The only one who could save me, rescue me, and stop the pain. To let God define me and not someone else's words. More tears....

His love is unstoppable, dear one. There is no past, no pain, no sin, no shame, that he doesn't want to redeem. (Romans 8:38-39) He wants to tear down the lies that others have spoken over us or that we have even spoken over ourselves so that we can live fully loved my our Heavenly Father.

Take your broken pieces. Take your broken memories. Take your pain to the Lord. Ask him to give you a vision, a revelation of where He is in those moments. Ask Him for His truth. Let the Lord minister to you. He won't let you down. That's His promise.

#Divorce #Redemption

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